When a young boy asked President Obama how he planned on defending the U.S.A. against terrorists, Obama replied:
“Son you see, bad people can get past airport security, tighter immigration laws and increased military presence…but I tell you this, son – nobody fucks with Barrie’s lightsaber.”
“So it’s me and Putin at the top of Mount Rushmore, fighting for the future of the free world, right, and he’s got this bad-ass red lightsaber, like a real deep commie red, and he gets this look of inspiration is his eyes, right, and tries telling me he’s my father, all Vader style. So I tell him, ‘Vlad, you crazy oligarch, my father was Kenyan!’ but he just won’t let it go, he keeps saying ‘Barack, I am yo fazza’ and giggling, thinking he’s dropped this classic line in the middle of our totally bad-ass battle, so I figure I’ll do him one better, and I chop off his hand, and he screams, and that’s when I give him the ol’ size 12 Barack Attack right to the chest, and he falls, right, hits his head on the bridge of Lincoln’s nose, and I can hear him screaming on the way down about the evils of Capitalism and how the workers are gonna rise up and all this commie bullshit, and when he hits the ground I can see the blood, a real deep commie red, right, and I yell down to him: ‘I find your lack of faith in the resilience of the American people disturbing!’”
“And that, little boy, is how I finally crushed the commie threat and restored America to her rightful place in the world.”
When a young boy asked President Obama how he planned on defending the U.S.A. against terrorists, Obama replied:
“Son you see, bad people can get past airport security, tighter immigration laws and increased military presence…but I tell you this, son – nobody fucks with Barrie’s lightsaber.”
Now you know what it looks like, girls.
“So it’s me and Putin at the top of Mount Rushmore, fighting for the future of the free world, right, and he’s got this bad-ass red lightsaber, like a real deep commie red, and he gets this look of inspiration is his eyes, right, and tries telling me he’s my father, all Vader style. So I tell him, ‘Vlad, you crazy oligarch, my father was Kenyan!’ but he just won’t let it go, he keeps saying ‘Barack, I am yo fazza’ and giggling, thinking he’s dropped this classic line in the middle of our totally bad-ass battle, so I figure I’ll do him one better, and I chop off his hand, and he screams, and that’s when I give him the ol’ size 12 Barack Attack right to the chest, and he falls, right, hits his head on the bridge of Lincoln’s nose, and I can hear him screaming on the way down about the evils of Capitalism and how the workers are gonna rise up and all this commie bullshit, and when he hits the ground I can see the blood, a real deep commie red, right, and I yell down to him: ‘I find your lack of faith in the resilience of the American people disturbing!’”
“And that, little boy, is how I finally crushed the commie threat and restored America to her rightful place in the world.”
“Forget Secret Service…Obama can defend his own House.”
Evo, GOLD!
“Lando Calrissian was never a Jedi….. A sexy swindler though.”