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In contrast and in retaliation to the hocus pocus and bullshit crap that the likes of Entertainment Tonight and People Magazine has put together, I would like to lay out a list of the most intriguing “real” people, that I know and love. To boot, I’ve added an extra 5 more spots to the usual 10 you see driveling out of magazines and TV screens across North America, so there, fuck you Mary Hart.

15. James Dalgleish:

As a brother, James Dalgleish inevitably finds a place at the top of the list. Being both a sharer of genetic material and man of considerable size he and I share many of the same quality. Returning to school this year put me in a situation not many people get to be in, a post-secondary scenario that had us pitted together in a Critical Thinking Philosophy class run by a codeine high, English Philosophy Doctorate. Needless to say, I lost the race in terms of marks, but our ability to relate almost every aspect of critical thinking jargon and terminology to the Star Wars Saga was staggering. My brother intrigues me because of his inability to clean his room, at all, over the fall semester yet amidst the Beirut like interior of his man lair, he still seemed to garnish high marks as he plugged away at his Geography major. God bless you James, oh wait, if you critically argue the existence of God, there is no real, solid evidence to back up the inductive argument that states there actually is one….

14. Melissa Dalgleish:

Nearing the top of the list, I find myself looking into the eyes of another relative, and a great one at that. Coming out of a marriage to a seemingly blithering idiot with weird nipples, this 27-year-old English Master is taking the York University Teaching Assistant scene by storm. Linguistically brilliant, talented and insightful, her daily commentary and quirky Dalgleish humor brighten and fill my days with delightful intrigue. Number 14 has been reserved for such excellence.

13. S. James Clarke:

At the number 13 spot, Sean James Clarke takes honor, besting anyone with his birthday buildup posts on Facebook, collecting and delivering classic moments from this season’s antics with S. Cleezy himself. Sean, a man of class, intense football statistical analysis ability and eclectic beer knowledge, intrigues both the likes of me and many of my close friends. After finding work in the Saskatchewan Oil Industry, the Sauga/Etobs crew was left hollow and empty, losing one of its prime members for months on end, limiting our ability to take in the greatness of S. Cleezy only through electronic, glowing rectangles. Recently returning home, the grandeur and awe of the Sauga/Etobs crew was once again renewed and to this man I say, may the force be with you. The 13^th spot is rewarded to such great men.

12. Tiffany Rose:

There is not a lot that can’t be said about this sultry, dark haired siren and the number 12 spot is kept well with Tiffany Rose. Being of both Italian and French background, no one can deny that Tiffany belongs in front of a camera let alone a computer screen all day. What intrigues me is her ability to hold together her family life with exceptional quality, something that can’t be ignored and shines through in her little brother, Ty. I owe a debt to Tiffany for no subtle reasons. A lot of crap has been tossed back and forth between her and I but it feels good to know I have her in my pocket if I need her and the opposite is the same. The most intriguing about Tiffany is the inevitable fact that when we are together we end up bickering like Larry David and Susie Greene, making for some prettay, prettaaay, prettaaaaay good times and still somehow we don’t kill each other. Also, a tip of the cap to her contributions to the Weekend to End Breast Cancer, number 12 goes to you m’lady.

11. Katie Arbour:

Rolling up the 11^th position I find myself delving into the likes of a girl that is quite dear to my heart and my brother’s underpants, Katie Arbour. An expert in equestrian and a killer addition to the University of Guelph Gryphons Girls Rugby Team, Katie Arbor has taken my brother’s world onto a whole new level of the game of love. Skilled in the arts of drawing, photography, painting and stop motion animation, Katie has displayed some of the most amazing artwork the University of Guelph Bachelor of Fine Art Program has ever seen, and I mean this sincerely. Her stop motion animation can be seen on Facebook. To Katie I say, well done m’lady, well done and keep up the fine work.

10. The Dundas Harem:

This sassy group of young ladies intrigues almost anyone they meet. The use of MTV slang and constant ability to hold killer parties brings this group of chicks into the spot light at number 10. Introducing me to the use of such words and phrases as “sketch” and “fuck my life,” my development and preparation for return to post-secondary was greatly improved. In addition, any time I feel bored or sad I have a large repertoire of girls to call upon to keep me company and give me well needed advice on how to look, dress and act when I simply can’t think for myself. They’re ability to drink copious amounts of alcohol never ceases to amaze me, and the group dynamic of these ladies is enough to fill an entire episode of Extra with Mario Lopez. In addition Tamara Mullet has had the uncanny ability to nickname almost anyone she meets, simplifying they’re name into a catchy and “all the rage” form, using as little an amount of syllables as possible. For instance, my name in Tamara terms is “JD Seinz,” denoting my age as compared to my brother while utilizing my initials, genius. Nikki can out smoke Jimi Hendrix and has an infectious laugh rivaling that of Fran Drescher. Annie can relate to almost anything I have to say and shares my fear of the human race’s impending geographical, economic and political doom. Jackie’s insight to my deep personal troubles has quelled many a sad day and her fashion knowledge is vital in keeping that fresh new look I always seem to be searching for. Chelsea finds her own special place in my heart providing equally hilarious public commentary on anyone and always seems to have the ability to host a decent shindig at her house, plus, her Mom’s is the bee’s knees. Laine, aka Tiger Lily, comes from one of those families that begs the question of how she became so hardcore, I mean, this girl is pretty much the Queen of Full Timing yet her mild mannered Mother and seemingly charming Father are in no way related to Lily’s badassness, maybe she’s adopted. Finally, Melissa Zazulak rounds of the crew, possessing a name that can be combined with almost any word you can think of, like; “Zazulbanana,” or “Zazulbooger,” or even the time honored “Zazulcock,” who the hell wouldn’t be intrigued by this dark haired vixen?  Number 10 has been reserved solely for the Dundas Harem and to you all I tip my proverbial cap.

9. Brett McClean:

Brett McClean has been a great friend since I met him almost 3 years ago at a party in my good friend Drew’s backyard. The intrigue comes not only for his ability to wear sweat pants almost anywhere, but his ability to blast a ray of sunshine onto almost anyone he comes into contact with. How can you deny that Brett McClean is a man of the people? The Thugz weekends, which are a staple among my close friends, incorporate a raucous and wonderful cottage experience, including tubing, wakeboarding, well edited home videos of friends, music, barbecue, hundreds of beers, a daily homemade breakfast and a “Thugzgiving” extravaganza, complete with three kinds of mashed potatoes and a huge turkey with fixin’s that span a giant dining table. Brett’s generosity has helped me in the past, after I lost my job last year, Brett helped me out by giving me a job and helping me move home with his massive truck. Now we’ve lost his greatness to the east of Canada, but he lives with us in our hearts. Congrats on your marriage Brett, number 9 goes to you.

8. Sherrie Bilan:

Number 8 goes to someone I can easily dub as my “Second Mom.” Sherrie Bilan is an amazing woman and a prime advocate for the fight to end breast cancer. I met her three years ago and ever since then I’ve had the privilege to know that whenever I need her, I can call upon her to give me the tools and advice I need to move on and clean up my act. Good role models are hard to come by and Sherrie fits the mould perfectly. There aren’t many people in this world that are as true blue, kind and as generous and we can all learn a lot from how much time and effort Sherrie brings to the table when she volunteers her time, as well as working full time in the Health Care industry. To boot, her family is an all star cast as her husband raised some $2000 plus for Breast Cancer Research and walked the arduous, 2 day, 60km walk in September at the Weekend to End Breast Cancer and her kids are pretty cool too, I mean c’mon, greatness spawns greatness. Sherrie has helped me out in the past and I owe a lot to her wisdom, so the number 8 spot goes to you, take a bow.

7. Rob Quinn and Nick Coughlin:

Lucky number 7 goes to a duo of massive talent and ability. Rob Quinn and Nick Coughlin have finally reached they’re artistic potential this year, destroying their set at the Guelph Googenheim by delivering some of the darkest, dirtiest and most dastardly Dub Step I’ve heard in a long time. Rob, a father of one and an established Large Animal Veterinary Technician and Nick a renowned Large Animal Anesthesiologist have combined to form a smash up pair that will continue to take the Guelph Underground Music seen like a blitzkrieg. As well, big props to Meghan and Liam, the woman and little man behind the Legend of the Quinn. DJ’s Little Square Dot and Niko are well deserving of the lucky number 7.

6. Tim Lysecki:

Even though it has been two years to the month since I have seen this man in person, great things have been happening and the 8^th slot is privileged to hold Tim Lysecki as its occupant. A talented musician of Alternative, not Alt Rock and Progressive, not Prog, Tim’s Myspace viewage has recently hit 3000, a challenge to many upstart solo musicians around the globe. A recent passion for photography has flourished, showing a great deal of potential and equal talent with his use of abstract themes, light and shadow. No one should underestimate this man’s talent, and number 8 goes to Tim Lysecki.

5. Matt Demers:

The top five starts off with another great man, Matt Demers. Matt has shown tremendous talent in the past year as a student of Journalism at Ryerson University. With connections to some excellent blogs and columns, Matt’s repertoire ranges from his rich personal experiences in Toronto to the gritty knowledge of the rap scene and the Wu-Tang Clan. A regular contributor to W0rd, my group blog, Matt intrigues me with his ability to relate whatever he is writing about to almost anyone, which is really the point of journalism in my view. It takes a lot of time and effort to be as devoted to writing as Matt is and that’s the reason why the number 5 spot is taken by this man’s protégé to the written word.

4. Toneh Burroughs and Andrea Scrivo:

Number 4 holds a special place in my heart. Anthony Burroughs has been a great friend since I met him back in 2005 at a crazy Halloween Party. Andrea is the same, being introduced sooner at school in Guelph. This coupling takes the number 4 because of the way we should learn from it. Now, I’m not one for the mush and romantic dribble drabble, but looking back at what these two have been through sends a message to any couple on how to stick together. Cooperation, compromise, love, commitment and understanding, all of these things show up in they’re relationship and it warms my heart. Even though there have been rough patches, no one can deny that Tony and Andrea are nothing short of perfect for each other. We will ever understand what Andrea sees in Tony, I mean fuck, but we still love him too, right? Tony, you like it, put a ring on it, Beyoncé be true. Congrats on the new house!

3. Elan Marks and April Foss:

Elan and April of FAME have reached new heights in the Toronto Art scene. A best friend from Highschool, Elan Marks has developed as an artist and photographer from the minute we took art class together as teens. Since then, his involvement with high-class food, drink, art and photography has flourished, landing him as one of the most talented mixologists, bartenders and artists in the entire city. His artwork shines with the use of the female form, soft use of colour and the random dots, splashes and dashes of ink blots. April Foss, the “better half” of FAME, I’ve only really gotten to know over the past year. Her artwork is nothing short of original and gorgeous. Her intricate use of media invites us to search the pieces for the secrets they hold and to explore the beauty she exudes from herself in personality and physicality. An inspiration to a lot of my friends and colleagues Elan and April most definitely take the first spot in the top three.

2. Jeff Higgins:

A man I can easily describe as extraordinary, Jeff Higgins is the runner up for this years most intriguing. Probably the most underrated and least rewarded amateur photographer I know, Jeff makes me feel miniscule in terms of quality, composition and sheer ambition when it comes to the art of photography. Jeff inspired me to get into the genre and his work is breathtaking. His use of almost any type of media, setting and context, Jeff’s photos convey depth, colour and beauty in ways a lot of people are astounded by and for good reason. His website photoaday.ca showcases a photo everyday and has been for three years now. That’s no easy task and along with photoaday Jeff heads up W0rd, a group blog that allows myself and many of my friends to share amazing, nerdy as hell and fun stuff together. Also, Higgins has been able to consistently produce some amazing film that showcases how awesome our crew as friends are, and is aptly nicknamed “Zemeckis.” I don’t think I’ve met a nicer guy, lending me his uber-expensive and really nice lenses for my trip to Europe is the only reason why my photos from the trip turned out so well. I think anyone reading this can agree, Jeff Higgins deserves a lot more credit that he receives and I hope one day he’ll break out of his amateur shell and reek havoc in the professional scene. I dub thee Jeff Higgins, most intriguing the 2^nd.

1. Hasel Dalgleish:

Appropriately named “Grambo,” my grandmother takes the top spot as the matriarch of the Dalgleish Clan. I really couldn’t think of anyone better to place at the number one spot of most intriguing. The woman is 89 years old and she still drives, lives alone and cares and cooks for an entire family of about 18 or 20 people when the time comes and she’ll die giving up the ladle or spatula. It’s amazing how small and cute a lady can spawn such a mass of giant folk, such as I or my Uncles or Dad and Brother, that’s intriguing in itself. The thing that most intrigues me is her ability to keep such a sunny disposition even at times when harsh and strict criticism is given, the woman has the patience of Buddha for gosh sakes. The obvious reason why Grambo takes the top spot is because we can all learn from her, I mean, every time I talk to her something new and exciting turns up, whether it’s a story from the War, her life overseas or something hilarious I can use to hurl at my Dad when he beats me in a battle of wits. So to end this list of glory and intrigue I end it with the best, a Miss Hasel Dalgleish, 89 years young. GRAMBOOO!