15. Liam Kearney and Stina Dios:

Liam and Stina are like Bonnie and Clyde. They’re criminals, sociopaths, sexual deviants and they’ve robbed me of my ability to appreciate just how sexy a couple can be, because lets face it folks, they’ve topped it (sorry couples to follow). I once witnessed Liam brandish a tommy gun, firing several rounds into the roof of a local TD Waterhouse Branch, just so he could be first in line to cash his paycheck, while Stina looked brazenly out the tinted windows into the bright afternoon sky, as her golden, Swedish locks rippled in the cool exhaust from the wall mounted air conditioner beside the branch manager’s office…. Stina and Liam are so much fun, and I thank them for brightening any house party, bar romp, or wedding I attend. They provide me with food and shelter when I’m in Toronto, and of course, provide me with something to aspire to, a badass, loving relationship. Take a bow, comrades.

14. Tyler Young:

I met this cat by coincidence, while editing a documentary film for an English class last year near the end of school. Little did I know, we shared some mutual friends, and to my surprise I discovered quite a talented man. Tyler Young is a photographer, film editor and all around multi media expert. He also moonlights as a private detective on weekends (he once helped recover a signed copy of Billy Joel’s An Innocent Man from the clutches of a evil vinyl collector, downtown. What can I say? I just love Uptown Girl, its a classic). On the very few occasions I’ve seen him since we’ve met, he always has a smile on his face, and in no time at all spreads the delight onto everyone else’s face. Ty heads up a multi-media company, Full Affect, you can check out the work here, its pretty excellent and of course a motivator for yours truly. I hope in the next few months we can kick back at the Albion with some beers and an exchange of our photographic know-how. A Guelph resident, and by proxy, a wonderful human being and father, this man lands #14, a tip of the cap to you, sir.

13. Dave Heidebrecht:

Dave Heidebrecht is super human, like I mean he could be a fucking android, built in a retired, top-secret soviet missile silo outside of St. Petersburg, Russia. Sent to Canada to spy on just how righteously awesome Canadians are. I’ve had suspicions…  I once saw the bastard toss 14 perfect strikes in a softball game this summer. To boot, in one game, Dave sacrificed his beautiful face for the betterment of the team by barreling headfirst into a chain-linked fence, ultimately saving a run, but unfortunately we lost the game. I could swear I saw a metallic interior skeletal frame protruding from the gash on his face, it might have been the Hamilton air in my lungs, but I could have sworn…. This talented human being leaves me reeling anytime I catch a glimpse of his work. Dave is one of the most gifted and worldly photographers I know. To match, he’s generous in lending out equipment and humble when it comes to compliments on his work. He specializes in landscapes, culture and images that capture the essence of the here and now, of anywhere he’s been, and he’s been far and wide. You can check his work out here, please be seated as you do so. #13 is reserved for such greatness.

12. Brett McClean and Christy Duncan:

I can’t say enough about this next couple. Christy an Brett are full of laughs, love, good food, good company and good music, all the trimmings of what a great pair should have. Missed terribly from here in Ontario, Christy and Brett now reside in Halifax, Nova Scotia. They also celebrated their marriage this summer, and holy fucking moly, what a hum-dinger that was. I’ve been to weddings in the past, but this one included so many close friends and colleagues that it made the event all the more intimate, and all the more a smash up. A first for me at the wedding was the concept that instead of tapping your glass or plate for a kiss from the bride and groom, you had to earn it, by writing a poem and then taking to the mic, and delivering it to the crowd. Only then would Brett and Christy share a smooch. That concept is of course, epic wedding history. They seem perfect for each other, and I don’t know when I’ll see them next, but I sure hope its soon. Come to Ontario for gosh sakes!

11. Duncan Martin:

Duncan Martin is another well-rounded chap I must pay homage to. If you’re unable to grasp the concepts of this world, from a geographical perspective, I highly recommend speaking with this guy. He’s a pretty decent photographer and by golly he’s an excellent musician too. Duncan once climbed to the peak of Mount Everest, BY HIMSELF. NAKED. He told me he took a disposable Kodak camera and that he has photos of his journey, but when I asked to see them, the look in his eyes said ‘don’t you fucking dare question my Everest summit, you unworthy man-child.’ Well, at least that’s what I thought his eyes said, so I backed off and continued on with a sip from my coffee and a slow downward glance at my study notes…. Duncan is a staple study partner, and for that reason, I hold him dear to my heart…. Even though he doesn’t make the top ten. Rock on, my good sir.

10. Jason Donovan:

Jason Donovan always puts a twinkle in my eye. He’s just full of it. Twinkling. The twinkling of a bright, shining star… I once saw Jason wrestle a fully grown Great White Shark in a lake in Peterborough. What boggled my mind about this sight was not the visceral power of his adrenalin filled body striking blow, after forceful blow at the bulbous, sensory nerve center located on the sharks head, no, it was the shear improbability of an actual shark, or any salt water predator for that matter, making its way up the Trent-Severn waterway to wrestle the likes of such a man. Donovan is a man of many talents, one being improvisation. I have a lot of respect for improv artists, I’ll even argue that its a tougher gig than stand up comedy. How the heck can a guy get up in front of a crowd of hundreds of people and consistently entertain them, let alone hold their attention, with nothing but mere suggestions of material and subject matter? TALENT, that’s what! I respect that, and I love what Jason, Jeff Higgins, Evan Moir and the whole Van46 crew have done with themselves in the last year. Check out their comedy skits here and give praise. To Jason I say, keep on keep’n on, and let me know when that taxidermist finishes stuffing the shark. Man, that thing was like a 14 footer, jeepers!

9. Rebecca Spring and Darryl Johnston:

Rebecca and Darryl have been good friends of mine since first year university at Guelph. For some reason they’ve been together since then, I can’t figure it out really…. Maybe its because of Darryl’s world famous clam chowder, or his award winning spicy sausage gumbo, or even his tantalizing roasted corn on the cob, all these things, mixed with a chiseled figure, rapier wit and of course a Dodge Mini-Van equipped for toting they’re future offspring. Of course Rebecca’s radiant beauty, kindness, incredible patience, great taste in photography and of course, those legs….. help the situation as well. I guess I just figured it out. Another amazing thing about Darryl and Rebecca, is this one time during World War Two, Darryl and Rebecca rode onto the battlefield at Normandy on the back of a giant mutated squirrel. Somehow Darryl was able to fashion a mount for this brutish, forest dwelling, nut forager, and as Rebecca brandished a high powered machine rifle, Darryl guided his trusty steed directly into the path of some of the most fearsome National Socialists the war had ever seen. They won the battle, yes indeed they did, after delivering a high-powered explosive device to the enemies headquarters, while galloping past at an incredible rate, and detonating it as they both gazed passionately into each other eyes. Then, they made out, squirrel-back, as the dust and brick and stone of the explosion whizzed past them at high speed. James Cameron, eat your fucking heart out. I love you guys, congratulations on getting hitched, may 2011 be a splendid year for you both. #9 is reserved for you.

8. Polina Bam:

Polina Bam. In this patriarchal society, one weeps at the possibility of such a fantastic last name being folded away into the realm of history. With great namesakes come with them greatness by association, and #8 goes to Polina. I’ve never met a more kindhearted individual, and it’s thanks to her that I was able to find one of the most horrible course loads of my post secondary career, bearable. Hey Polina, remember that time we were in a group of like, 8 people and then like, only 3 people like, did any work and then the rest of the group probably got decent marks because like, we worked so hard? That was the best! If ever there were a woman who could traverse the entire globe with a backpack and a walking stick, I would most definitely slot her in as the top pick. Travel success includes smiles, kindness and knowledge of food and wine. Polina embodies each, and as this was her last semester at Guelph, I wish thee prosperity and wonder as you travel the globe spreading Bam cheer and delight as you go, like a beautiful flowering vine, that smells of honeysuckle and watermelons. Yaaay!

7. Liam Quinn:

Tiny Liam Quinn is but the apple of my eye, and the eye of Rob and Meghan, his makers. He can barely form perfect sentences, but the way this guy constructs and maintains a whole train yard full of the complete cast of Thomas the Tank Engine, is nothing short of extraordinary. As well, Liam’s coloring skills have ripened, as his ability to color inside the lines improves everyday. Liam also excels at impressions, and in particular of his doggy, Poppy. For some unknown reason, Poppy has the tendency to gargle and ‘cack,’ if you will, when confronted with a situation not to her liking. Think of it as the sound your Uncle Tim makes when he’s smoked too much from his tobacco pipe, and needs to clear the nasal cavity, that’s the sound. Well, Liam captures it perfectly, and the facial expressions to match, a man after my own heart. May your year be filled with toilet training success, new pre-school friends and an even more careful and detailed stroke of the Crayola. Hi Liam! Sorry for yelling.

6. Eric Fallon:

If you’ve been to a party wherein Eric Fallon has attended, you’ve probably encountered the fucking ringer. Nudity and coarse language abound the atmosphere when Fallon attends what was once a mild mannered dinner party, strong parental discretion is recommended to attend such get-togethers. Eric is not a model for 1980’s Chatelaine Limited Edition couples photo-shoots, nor an accredited Zoologist, no; he is a professional Michael Bolton look-alike. I once saw Eric bring the house down at a local retirement community, as his rendition of ‘When a Man Loves a Woman’ soared forth, proving that even a cover of a cover can be even more breathtaking than the original. Eric has brought much joy to my life in the past year, he seems to attract the fun, and the people I meet through him bring equal joy. Fallon is a well-dressed cat too, and while he looks like a million bucks, the guy has an academic and eclectic taste in literature, something you may not assume from the ‘enthusiastic’ that Eric embodies. I reserve #6 for this man, as he truly is one of the most intriguing of 2010.

5. Mandeep Flora:

Dipp, or officially known as Mandeep Flora. I love his photography, I mean, that shit just makes me jealous. #5 goes to this man, a fine man at that. I don’t know if anyone saw, but recently in the Globe and Mail, there was a story about a guy who saw two old ladies being robbed on Dovercourt, in Toronto. Well, that was Dipp. The guy ran 8 blocks up the street; only realizing the petty thug he was after, had lured Dipp onto his turf, as when he finally ran around the corner at Dovercourt Park, there were six other dark, shadowy figures. Little did this posse of seven strong realize, Dipp is a 9^th degree black belt, and has been listed by the Guinness Book of World Records as being the fastest human being to wield a collapsible Billy club. Before those despicable thieving bastards knew it, two of them needed reconstructive face surgery, one required a synthetic knee cap, another two died from shear terror, and the other two broke their OWN arms upon realizing the immense pain and suffering they would have undergone if Dipp had gotten hold of them. Jeepers. He gathered the purses, and then returned them to their rightful, senior citizen owners. The top five of the most intriguing must be kept for such greatness, but for fuck sakes, maybe ease up on the stellar photographics, it hurts my feelings. I love you.

4. Jamie Morren:

Jamie Morren is yet again another impeccable photographer. He’s been taking a photograph, or several, everyday for the past year, in fact he’s at 354, today. That is no small feat, and it’s a respectable one. I find it hard to get motivated and pick up the camera; let alone find composable material that compliments my style and lens, and mood for that matter. Jamie is able to do all of these things, everyday. My God. He’s also excellent with a guitar and to boot, holds a mean garage party every Christmas Eve. A party that leaves me smelling like a synthetic campfire made of cigarettes, but filled with the killer energy that a solid group of people generates, stoking the real fires for the rest of the year. Parties like these truly embody the expression that it’s not where you are, it’s who your with.  Jamie recently moved to Toronto to pursue a career in photography and advertising, a creative like myself. To you my good man, I bestow the wishes of success and good health and may every year from this one forth, may I find myself in your garage, spouting prose like a beer-crazed banshee. Ahoy!

3. Julian Pinder:

Julian is someone I hold in very high esteem. His accomplishments in the last year are undeniably something we should all strive for. He released his documentary film, LAND, a piece he had been working on since late 2005. Its quite a film, and I say so sincerely, as it came from a rookie director, and from a budget that was self financed, and built upon a schedule that involved quite a lot of world travel, and of course hard work. Julian also co-owns Toronto’s first urban winery, V1 Wines, and was kind enough to entrust me with shooting V1’s annual grape stomping in Etobicoke. Julian is a Dundas boy like myself, and is an all around talented fellow, sporting skills with the guitar on top of his skills with the camera. I look forward to his next project, through his production company, Deliberate Films, a story following the ever-spreading oil and fuel industry in the Northwest of Canada. For the first of the top 3, I reserve this spot of Mr. Pinder. May your year be as prosperous as 2010.

2. The Guelph Harem:

Number 2 is reserved for a group of ladies that could combine to form a super power zord, even the Power Rangers themselves could not defeat. How exactly they would combine is completely up for interpretation by everyone reading this. I don’t know, some kind of surgery or something? Anyway, I owe a whole two semesters of fantastic partying, laughs, and all around tomfoolery to this bunch. Cody seems to know how to uncontrollably laugh at almost anything, and I mean anything, don’t take her to a funeral; a comedy show of some sort would suit her much more. Sarah, in her glory, can outdrink me. How this relatively tiny girl can do so, is up for scientific review, and if there are any scientists reading, I’m sure you’d be eager to study the inner workings of Sarah’s alcoholic digestive system, wink! Maddie can speak to animals. Yep, she once had a full on conversation with a Black Grouse, and discussed the troublesome nature of migration and the difficult task of culling his young grouse chicks out of the nest, to fly. His name was Harold, and he was hatched on the shores of the Mississippi. Finally, Vanessa is like the glue that holds the group together, perhaps butcher’s glue, the kind that really gets you going after you fill a zip lock bag half full and haul a lungful. Somehow she seemed to be able to make it through the semester this year, even with crutches and without a cellphone.  To this fine group of young ladies I say, may the force be with you, and may the next year bring you joy, success and may your hangovers and sicknesses last but a few moments and may your hair not have bad days and may you not break any bones and may you find happiness and joy and love. God bless.

1. Momma and Poppa Dalgleish:

Finally, we come to number one, and for such an honor I reserve for my parents, Momma and Poppa Dalgleish. For if it were not for them, this list would not be made possible, in fact, a heck of a lot would not be possible and I must here take my place as a humble son, and give thanks for this miracle of a marriage. I don’t say miracle lightly. I’m not privy to the exact statistics, but to have parents still in love and holding a strong marriage after some 30 years, is quite something, and it does wonders for the rest of the facets of their lives. Like me, my brother, our pets, our home and all the security, love, companionship and trust that comes out of something like that. Marriage aside, these two individuals are pretty damn interesting. Patricia, or as I’ve deemed, Trish the Dish, is a hard working Educational Assistant. I’d say its one of the most thankless jobs in the education industry, or for any industry at that. A great deal of humility, patience and heart is required to work with disabled and troubled kids, and from what I’ve seen and heard, she does more than her share of a fantastic job. Doug, or Douggles if you will, is a prison superintendent. Until this year, I’d really no idea just how big the scale was for the guy, in his position. He runs Maplehurst Correctional Complex in Milton, Ontario. Its a high security prison with a staff of around 500 and a budget reaching into the 8 figure category. How this man goes to work and deals with the conundrums of a giant government facility, holding some of the worst assholes Canada has to offer, and then comes home with the bright demeanor I encounter everyday, is nothing short of intriguing. Let’s face it ladies and gentlemen, if it weren’t for the love, wisdom and grace that my (as you can see) quite attractive parents, bestowed upon yours truly, I’d be simply a worthless bum. No ifs, ands, or buts…. And so, with my most fervent and exclusive endearments, I present the number one spot, reserved for my makers. Thank you for everything, and may the next year bring you joy, happiness and maybe a little less of your son’s personal indiscretions (taps the nose). I love you both.

To all who read this in full, I thank you kindly. For further reading, check out last years list. Also, to those who know me and know me well, and to those who didn’t make this list, its a little arbitrary, and if I had all the time in the world, I’d write a blurb and a homage to each and everyone of my friends and acquaintances. Try to take the love and kindness I show here and pay it forward, the Earth could always use a little more of both. Happy New Year!

15. James Dalgleish:

As a brother, James Dalgleish inevitably finds a place at the top of the list. Being both a sharer of genetic material and man of considerable size he and I share many of the same quality. Returning to school this year put me in a situation not many people get to be in, a post-secondary scenario that had us pitted together in a Critical Thinking Philosophy class run by a codeine high, English Philosophy Doctorate. Needless to say, I lost the race in terms of marks, but our ability to relate almost every aspect of critical thinking jargon and terminology to the Star Wars Saga was staggering. My brother intrigues me because of his inability to clean his room, at all, over the fall semester yet amidst the Beirut like interior of his man lair, he still seemed to garnish high marks as he plugged away at his Geography major. God bless you James, oh wait, if you critically argue the existence of God, there is no real, solid evidence to back up the inductive argument that states there actually is one….

14. Melissa Dalgleish:

Nearing the top of the list, I find myself looking into the eyes of another relative, and a great one at that. Coming out of a marriage to a seemingly blithering idiot with weird nipples, this 27-year-old English Master is taking the York University Teaching Assistant scene by storm. Linguistically brilliant, talented and insightful, her daily commentary and quirky Dalgleish humor brighten and fill my days with delightful intrigue. Number 14 has been reserved for such excellence.

13. S. James Clarke:

At the number 13 spot, Sean James Clarke takes honor, besting anyone with his birthday buildup posts on Facebook, collecting and delivering classic moments from this season’s antics with S. Cleezy himself. Sean, a man of class, intense football statistical analysis ability and eclectic beer knowledge, intrigues both the likes of me and many of my close friends. After finding work in the Saskatchewan Oil Industry, the Sauga/Etobs crew was left hollow and empty, losing one of its prime members for months on end, limiting our ability to take in the greatness of S. Cleezy only through electronic, glowing rectangles. Recently returning home, the grandeur and awe of the Sauga/Etobs crew was once again renewed and to this man I say, may the force be with you. The 13^th spot is rewarded to such great men.

12. Tiffany Rose:

There is not a lot that can’t be said about this sultry, dark haired siren and the number 12 spot is kept well with Tiffany Rose. Being of both Italian and French background, no one can deny that Tiffany belongs in front of a camera let alone a computer screen all day. What intrigues me is her ability to hold together her family life with exceptional quality, something that can’t be ignored and shines through in her little brother, Ty. I owe a debt to Tiffany for no subtle reasons. A lot of crap has been tossed back and forth between her and I but it feels good to know I have her in my pocket if I need her and the opposite is the same. The most intriguing about Tiffany is the inevitable fact that when we are together we end up bickering like Larry David and Susie Greene, making for some prettay, prettaaay, prettaaaaay good times and still somehow we don’t kill each other. Also, a tip of the cap to her contributions to the Weekend to End Breast Cancer, number 12 goes to you m’lady.

11. Katie Arbour:

Rolling up the 11^th position I find myself delving into the likes of a girl that is quite dear to my heart and my brother’s underpants, Katie Arbour. An expert in equestrian and a killer addition to the University of Guelph Gryphons Girls Rugby Team, Katie Arbor has taken my brother’s world onto a whole new level of the game of love. Skilled in the arts of drawing, photography, painting and stop motion animation, Katie has displayed some of the most amazing artwork the University of Guelph Bachelor of Fine Art Program has ever seen, and I mean this sincerely. Her stop motion animation can be seen on Facebook. To Katie I say, well done m’lady, well done and keep up the fine work.

10. The Dundas Harem:

This sassy group of young ladies intrigues almost anyone they meet. The use of MTV slang and constant ability to hold killer parties brings this group of chicks into the spot light at number 10. Introducing me to the use of such words and phrases as “sketch” and “fuck my life,” my development and preparation for return to post-secondary was greatly improved. In addition, any time I feel bored or sad I have a large repertoire of girls to call upon to keep me company and give me well needed advice on how to look, dress and act when I simply can’t think for myself. They’re ability to drink copious amounts of alcohol never ceases to amaze me, and the group dynamic of these ladies is enough to fill an entire episode of Extra with Mario Lopez. In addition Tamara Mullet has had the uncanny ability to nickname almost anyone she meets, simplifying they’re name into a catchy and “all the rage” form, using as little an amount of syllables as possible. For instance, my name in Tamara terms is “JD Seinz,” denoting my age as compared to my brother while utilizing my initials, genius. Nikki can out smoke Jimi Hendrix and has an infectious laugh rivaling that of Fran Drescher. Annie can relate to almost anything I have to say and shares my fear of the human race’s impending geographical, economic and political doom. Jackie’s insight to my deep personal troubles has quelled many a sad day and her fashion knowledge is vital in keeping that fresh new look I always seem to be searching for. Chelsea finds her own special place in my heart providing equally hilarious public commentary on anyone and always seems to have the ability to host a decent shindig at her house, plus, her Mom’s is the bee’s knees. Laine, aka Tiger Lily, comes from one of those families that begs the question of how she became so hardcore, I mean, this girl is pretty much the Queen of Full Timing yet her mild mannered Mother and seemingly charming Father are in no way related to Lily’s badassness, maybe she’s adopted. Finally, Melissa Zazulak rounds of the crew, possessing a name that can be combined with almost any word you can think of, like; “Zazulbanana,” or “Zazulbooger,” or even the time honored “Zazulcock,” who the hell wouldn’t be intrigued by this dark haired vixen?  Number 10 has been reserved solely for the Dundas Harem and to you all I tip my proverbial cap.

9. Brett McClean:

Brett McClean has been a great friend since I met him almost 3 years ago at a party in my good friend Drew’s backyard. The intrigue comes not only for his ability to wear sweat pants almost anywhere, but his ability to blast a ray of sunshine onto almost anyone he comes into contact with. How can you deny that Brett McClean is a man of the people? The Thugz weekends, which are a staple among my close friends, incorporate a raucous and wonderful cottage experience, including tubing, wakeboarding, well edited home videos of friends, music, barbecue, hundreds of beers, a daily homemade breakfast and a “Thugzgiving” extravaganza, complete with three kinds of mashed potatoes and a huge turkey with fixin’s that span a giant dining table. Brett’s generosity has helped me in the past, after I lost my job last year, Brett helped me out by giving me a job and helping me move home with his massive truck. Now we’ve lost his greatness to the east of Canada, but he lives with us in our hearts. Congrats on your marriage Brett, number 9 goes to you.

8. Sherrie Bilan:

Number 8 goes to someone I can easily dub as my “Second Mom.” Sherrie Bilan is an amazing woman and a prime advocate for the fight to end breast cancer. I met her three years ago and ever since then I’ve had the privilege to know that whenever I need her, I can call upon her to give me the tools and advice I need to move on and clean up my act. Good role models are hard to come by and Sherrie fits the mould perfectly. There aren’t many people in this world that are as true blue, kind and as generous and we can all learn a lot from how much time and effort Sherrie brings to the table when she volunteers her time, as well as working full time in the Health Care industry. To boot, her family is an all star cast as her husband raised some $2000 plus for Breast Cancer Research and walked the arduous, 2 day, 60km walk in September at the Weekend to End Breast Cancer and her kids are pretty cool too, I mean c’mon, greatness spawns greatness. Sherrie has helped me out in the past and I owe a lot to her wisdom, so the number 8 spot goes to you, take a bow.

7. Rob Quinn and Nick Coughlin:

Lucky number 7 goes to a duo of massive talent and ability. Rob Quinn and Nick Coughlin have finally reached they’re artistic potential this year, destroying their set at the Guelph Googenheim by delivering some of the darkest, dirtiest and most dastardly Dub Step I’ve heard in a long time. Rob, a father of one and an established Large Animal Veterinary Technician and Nick a renowned Large Animal Anesthesiologist have combined to form a smash up pair that will continue to take the Guelph Underground Music seen like a blitzkrieg. As well, big props to Meghan and Liam, the woman and little man behind the Legend of the Quinn. DJ’s Little Square Dot and Niko are well deserving of the lucky number 7.

6. Tim Lysecki:

Even though it has been two years to the month since I have seen this man in person, great things have been happening and the 8^th slot is privileged to hold Tim Lysecki as its occupant. A talented musician of Alternative, not Alt Rock and Progressive, not Prog, Tim’s Myspace viewage has recently hit 3000, a challenge to many upstart solo musicians around the globe. A recent passion for photography has flourished, showing a great deal of potential and equal talent with his use of abstract themes, light and shadow. No one should underestimate this man’s talent, and number 8 goes to Tim Lysecki.

5. Matt Demers:

The top five starts off with another great man, Matt Demers. Matt has shown tremendous talent in the past year as a student of Journalism at Ryerson University. With connections to some excellent blogs and columns, Matt’s repertoire ranges from his rich personal experiences in Toronto to the gritty knowledge of the rap scene and the Wu-Tang Clan. A regular contributor to W0rd, my group blog, Matt intrigues me with his ability to relate whatever he is writing about to almost anyone, which is really the point of journalism in my view. It takes a lot of time and effort to be as devoted to writing as Matt is and that’s the reason why the number 5 spot is taken by this man’s protégé to the written word.

4. Toneh Burroughs and Andrea Scrivo:

Number 4 holds a special place in my heart. Anthony Burroughs has been a great friend since I met him back in 2005 at a crazy Halloween Party. Andrea is the same, being introduced sooner at school in Guelph. This coupling takes the number 4 because of the way we should learn from it. Now, I’m not one for the mush and romantic dribble drabble, but looking back at what these two have been through sends a message to any couple on how to stick together. Cooperation, compromise, love, commitment and understanding, all of these things show up in they’re relationship and it warms my heart. Even though there have been rough patches, no one can deny that Tony and Andrea are nothing short of perfect for each other. We will ever understand what Andrea sees in Tony, I mean fuck, but we still love him too, right? Tony, you like it, put a ring on it, Beyoncé be true. Congrats on the new house!

3. Elan Marks and April Foss:

Elan and April of FAME have reached new heights in the Toronto Art scene. A best friend from Highschool, Elan Marks has developed as an artist and photographer from the minute we took art class together as teens. Since then, his involvement with high-class food, drink, art and photography has flourished, landing him as one of the most talented mixologists, bartenders and artists in the entire city. His artwork shines with the use of the female form, soft use of colour and the random dots, splashes and dashes of ink blots. April Foss, the “better half” of FAME, I’ve only really gotten to know over the past year. Her artwork is nothing short of original and gorgeous. Her intricate use of media invites us to search the pieces for the secrets they hold and to explore the beauty she exudes from herself in personality and physicality. An inspiration to a lot of my friends and colleagues Elan and April most definitely take the first spot in the top three.

2. Jeff Higgins:

A man I can easily describe as extraordinary, Jeff Higgins is the runner up for this years most intriguing. Probably the most underrated and least rewarded amateur photographer I know, Jeff makes me feel miniscule in terms of quality, composition and sheer ambition when it comes to the art of photography. Jeff inspired me to get into the genre and his work is breathtaking. His use of almost any type of media, setting and context, Jeff’s photos convey depth, colour and beauty in ways a lot of people are astounded by and for good reason. His website photoaday.ca showcases a photo everyday and has been for three years now. That’s no easy task and along with photoaday Jeff heads up W0rd, a group blog that allows myself and many of my friends to share amazing, nerdy as hell and fun stuff together. Also, Higgins has been able to consistently produce some amazing film that showcases how awesome our crew as friends are, and is aptly nicknamed “Zemeckis.” I don’t think I’ve met a nicer guy, lending me his uber-expensive and really nice lenses for my trip to Europe is the only reason why my photos from the trip turned out so well. I think anyone reading this can agree, Jeff Higgins deserves a lot more credit that he receives and I hope one day he’ll break out of his amateur shell and reek havoc in the professional scene. I dub thee Jeff Higgins, most intriguing the 2^nd.

1. Hasel Dalgleish:

Appropriately named “Grambo,” my grandmother takes the top spot as the matriarch of the Dalgleish Clan. I really couldn’t think of anyone better to place at the number one spot of most intriguing. The woman is 89 years old and she still drives, lives alone and cares and cooks for an entire family of about 18 or 20 people when the time comes and she’ll die giving up the ladle or spatula. It’s amazing how small and cute a lady can spawn such a mass of giant folk, such as I or my Uncles or Dad and Brother, that’s intriguing in itself. The thing that most intrigues me is her ability to keep such a sunny disposition even at times when harsh and strict criticism is given, the woman has the patience of Buddha for gosh sakes. The obvious reason why Grambo takes the top spot is because we can all learn from her, I mean, every time I talk to her something new and exciting turns up, whether it’s a story from the War, her life overseas or something hilarious I can use to hurl at my Dad when he beats me in a battle of wits. So to end this list of glory and intrigue I end it with the best, a Miss Hasel Dalgleish, 89 years young. GRAMBOOO!

Tiger Woods has been making history on and off the course since he joined the PGA Tour in 1996. First up was a record $40 million contract fromNike. The following year he won the Masters by a record 12 strokes, becoming the youngest winner ever and first black player to take the title. His career has been packed full of accomplishments, including major titles (14), annual money titles (9) and Player of the Year awards (9).  Now Woods can add one more accolade to his trophy case: the first athlete to earn $1 billion. Our calculations show that the $10 million bonus Woods earned winning this year’s FedEx Cup title nudged him over the $1 billion mark in career earnings.

Woods has only two real competitors when it comes to career earnings among athletes: the two Michaels, Jordan and Schumacher, who dominated their respective sports for nearly 15 years.  Jordan’s earning peaked during his last season with the Chicago Bulls (1998-’99), when he earned $69 million in salary and endorsement income.

And judging by the photo above – Woods is telekinetic, too.

I know, I know, most of us have moved on, but seriously… Jerk.

Watch as Andy Richter embarrasses Wolf Blitzer on last Friday’s (Celebrity) Jeopardy. Fettucini, really Wolf?